It’s all your fucking fault
I’m a fucking mess. I can’t get you outta my head even when I have stuff going on. I just wanna talk to you & be with you. I never cross your mind unless you’re really bored. & even then it seems by the way you text that you don’t want to so I wonder why you bother. Do you I’ve always been the last option. You were always my top priority.. & I feel stupid for it. You made a complete fool out of me. You made me love you & then you left me. Idk why I’m so disturbed by this since its not the first time. Everyone leaves me. I have no friends now. I talk to people every now & then maybe hang out with them but they’re not real friends. & honestly I don’t have much interest to try to be friends with them. Holidays are coming up… Fucking great. More days to remind me how fucking alone & pathetic I am. No one to wish me happy anything or give me anything or even spend their time with me. I wonder what its like to be truly loved & cared about. I guess, no.. I Know that I’m unlovable. I have never experienced this level before of pain, worthlessness, betrayal, hurt, emptiness,etc. & I have been through a lot of shit.. For the first time in a long time i was actually happy. I had motivation & dreams. & i wanted you to be a part of it. Now its gone, you literally sucked the life out of me. Thank you for taking & destroying the last little piece of faith I had left, not just in love but anything.
going from “i just want to cuddle up and be cute” to “i want to rip your clothes off and pin you against the wall” takes me approximately 0.94 seconds